The Help Desk

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Wed, Dec 31, 2008 (midnight)

Las Vegas Philharmonic executive director fired.
Why couldn’t it have been the guy with the cymbals?
Fry’s former executive charged with stealing more than $60 million to pay off gambling debts.
Wow! Fry’s has $60 million to steal? Recession, our foot.
New building codes mean fireworks will not be launched from rooftops of Strip hotels this year.
It’s all part of the city’s “We Can’t See Your Vegas From Here” campaign.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Wed, Dec 24, 2008 (midnight)

Las Vegas gets up to 8 inches of snow in biggest storm in decades.
Just remember—it’s not global warming. It’s ’cause God hates Las Vegas!
Schools close the day after snowstorm.
Finally, a day on which our school system is equal to all others.
David Copperfield’s assistant gets arm broken by large industrial fan.
This is far worse than the assistant who suffered the acute case of shame from working on "Believe".

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Dec 11, 2008 (midnight)

O.J. Simpson sentenced to 9 to 33 years in prison for role in Palace Station robbery.
Even Simpson’s longtime supporters are saying, “It’s about friggin’ time!”
Las Vegas judge dismisses drug and battery charges against Suge Knight.
“Hey, one has-been from the ’90s is all we can handle in one week,” the judge said.
Oscar De La Hoya suffers beating from Manny Pacquiao.
Luckily no one could afford the pay-per-view, so Oscar, if you don’t tell anyone, we won’t either.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Dec 4, 2008 (midnight)

Water usage down in Las Vegas.
Everyone suddenly realized that booze was actually cheaper.
NV Energy seeking 17.5 percent electric rate hike.
So much for our money-saving booze solution.
Paperboy robbed in North Las Vegas.
“Hey, at least I wasn’t hit by an airplane,” he said.
Clark County to look at safety at North Las Vegas Airport.
While you’re at it, can you look into the paperboy situation too?

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Wed, Nov 26, 2008 (midnight)

Encore to open Sinatra restaurant.
It’s going to be a very successful restaurant, as long as everyone involved keeps their big mouths shut.
Liam and Noel Gallagher join Ricky Hatton in Las Vegas.
It makes sense—Ricky loves Oasis, and the Gallaghers love beating people up.
Vegas police officers sue makers of Taser weapons for injuries they suffered during training.
When asked for comment, a Taser spokesperson said, “Wanna buy a Taser?”

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Nov 20, 2008 (midnight)

Las Vegas-area bus fares to increase in January.
Hey, when you ride with psychotics, screaming babies and those who don’t believe in deodorant, you’ve got to be willing to pay the price.
Las Vegas city manager resigns, citing a desire to pursue other options.
Like finding a city that isn’t completely screwed.
Penthouse plans to buy casino, bring in nude dealers.
Naked women, free alcohol and close proximity? Sounds problem-free to us.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Nov 13, 2008 (midnight)

New Walmart opening in Las Vegas.
And the fact that it’s No. 1 on our list shows just how close the economic apocalypse really is.
Economic woes prompt Las Vegas Sands to halt construction on Macau project.
Can we suggest opening a Walmart? They seem to do really well.
O.J. Simpson denied new trial.
Simpson reportedly suffering the effects of “trial withdrawal.”

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Nov 6, 2008 (midnight)

Federal authorities want U.S. marshals to operate seized strip club Crazy Horse Too.
Good to see our government finally tackling the country’s real problems head-on.
Authorities nab 16 sex offenders in Las Vegas during Halloween sweep.
Give ’em some credit—it can’t be easy with the entire city saying, “Want some candy?”
Cher cancels shows because she’s allergic to Las Vegas winds.
Oscar Goodman, Steve Wynn and Criss Angel promise to keep it down.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 23, 2008 (midnight)

Truck driver shaken after dummy bomb falls from the sky and hits his truck in Las Vegas city limits.
Sorry, guy. Actually, it was the latest marketing for Criss Angel’s Believe.
Man with explosives pulled off Las Vegas-bound plane.
Thanks, but we’ve already got enough bombs falling from the skies.
Mob-era gambling boss Frank “Lefty” Rosenthal dies at 79.
Really, how organized could the crime have been if he lived that long?

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 16, 2008 (midnight)

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony renew vows in Las Vegas.
Vows included “no more duets” and “no more co-starring in movies together.”
Department of Motor Vehicles unveils new licenses that are difficult to counterfeit.
Wow, what a great ... and someone just made a counterfeit of one of the new licenses.
Voter-registration organization raided for allegedly filing forms with bogus names.
And the discrimination against I.P. Freely continues.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 9, 2008 (midnight)

O.J. Simpson faces life in prison after being found guilty on charges of armed robbery and kidnapping.
What a coincidence—he’d been dropping hints that he’d like to spend more time here.
Mob museum gets a name from the City Council—The (Redacted) Museum.
hose in witness protection say, “What a (redacted) idea!”
Nineteen ex-employees suing Hofbräuhaus.
They’re seeking damages and custody of the umlaut.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 2, 2008 (midnight)

Lance Armstrong loses to Oregon cyclist in second annual Cross Vegas.
Testing afterward showed evidence of several Strip buffets.
FBI raids nine sites around the Valley as part of homeowners associations investigation.
Okay, okay—we’ll trim the red yucca on the side of our house. Happy?
O.J. Simpson laments USC loss while arriving at his trial.
Meanwhile, his lawyers lamented the fact they had to defend O.J.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Sep 25, 2008 (midnight)

R-J editorial suggests John McCain is physically unable to use a computer.
Using his cheek, Stephen Hawking typed, “What ... a ... wimp!”
Vanity Fair writer Dominick Dunne hospitalized after experiencing pain during the O.J. trial.
And here we thought the O.J. trial only had that effect on us.
Federal court to determine Las Vegas flight paths.
They’re expected to use the scientific “eeny, meeny, miny, moe” method.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Sep 18, 2008 (midnight)

Women arrested for attempted kidnapping of 6-year-old say they were testing school’s security.
Next, they’ll do a white-glove test of our city’s holding cells, followed by a tire-kick of the legal system.
Mirage unveils $25 million face-lift to volcano.
Sure, our schools could have used that money, but look at it this way—field trip!
City to give “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign its own parking lot for tourist safety.
All part of the city’s “no new revenue” campaign.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Sep 11, 2008 (midnight)

Michael Phelps parties with strippers at the Palms.
His behavior was so scandalous, he’s already considered the front-runner for governor in 2010.
Judge Elizabeth Halverson allegedly beaten by husband with frying pan.
Why couldn’t he have taken a cue from Francis Allen’s husband and beaten himself with it?
North Las Vegas residents hold airport-safety meetings.
We’d suggest holding them someplace safe—like Pahrump.

 read more...

A&E

Mamma Mia!, by the numbers!
How many yards of Spandex have been used in the construction of costumes for The Dynamos in the Mandalay Bay production of Mamma Mia!?
Still fab-“O”-lous at 10
O quietly marked its 10th anniversary in 2008. Far from dating, however, the show remains a timeless experience; even its technology still impresses.
Paint the town
The three-story building at 601 E. Fremont, at the edge of Downtown’s Fremont East District, has seen duty as a Sears store and a fingerprinting lab used by Metro. It was almost the site of a 10,000 square-foot nightclub.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Videos

Video Library

Flash is required

Xania's Hot Spots - This Week's Special Events

Xania's Hot Spots

All Nightlife

Cocktail of the Week

Cocktail of the Week Dec 31, 2008
by Xania Woodman

The Bearded Clam

A verrry distant cousin of the Mojito, the Caipirinha and the Batida is the Bearded Clam, created by Frankie's Tiki Room by bartender Alice Hartling. In a pint glass, muddle ...
Read more...